LOVE OR LUST

LOVE OR LUST

Again m up with my another blog.The reason y i write blog is wenever i wanna say sumthing or wanna xpress sumthing ,i found writing as a best way to xpress myself.Today M confuse that In a relationship wat is more important LOVE or LUST(physical relationship).Like my earlier blog this blog is also about my drastically changed life and about my ex girlfriend.Its around 2 n a half year from the day wen we broke up.When u left me all alone without thinking about me about my feelings.I accepted that bitter truth dat my happy days are over when i use to wait fr ur messages,fr ur calls.All those feeling which i use to cherish alot,use to think about every small step of my life with u..Now its all over.

I often use to think and many times i even said this thing to u dat if we broke up it will defenetly happen all becoz of you and she use to say dat "BHAROSA NI HAI KYA".I Guess meri hi nazar lg gyi mere relationship me.Wen we were in relationship I always use to feel this feeling ki one day u really gonna leave me behind in your life cycle,i guess i always knew dis thing bt i was never ready fr this breakup And now i got my punishment fr dat mistake.Everything which I planed for my life is only with u nd fr u.When I ws in relationship,thr are lots of thing to ask to god wen i pray..Like God pls MERI SHADI USAI KRA DO,GOD PLZ LIFE ME ITNA SUCCESSFULL BNA DO KI ME USAI SHADI KR SKU..wat so ever the pray is,it is connected to u..connected to our relationship and now i don't find anything to ask to god.its like i don't want anything from god or from life becoz the only thing i wanted is u..

Tumne chahe jo bhi galut kia hoga ya kia hai mere sath.Humesha mujhe ek feeling rehta tha ki tum kiss hud tk gir skti ho.Lgta hai humare bich pehle jo bhi rha tha,kuch bhi naam do bus usai pyar ka naam mt do. bus ek mzaak ya shayud timepass krne ka ek trika tha tumhare liye.But mere liye nahi wo tympass krna tha or naahi wo mzaak tha.Bus yhi do chiz chorke mere liye wo relation sab kuch tha.Kal jab mujhe pta chla ki u had sex with junaid.Mujhe is baat pe bura ni lga ki u had sex with him but mujhe ye sochkr bhut bura nd rona aya ki ek ladki jab ek ladke ke sath sex krne ke liye ready ho jati hai iska matlab yhi rehta hai ki wo ladki us ladke pe bht zada trust nd bhut bhut hi zada pyar krti hai.Mere itna pyar itna care ke bawjood tumne mujhe chor diya or junaid to pyar bhi ni krta tha mere jitna,maarta tha tumhe or us insaan ke sath tumne sex kiya,iska matlab us insaan se mujhse zada pyar kiya tumne ya tumhe chahiye tha sirf physical relationship.Main to esa bilkool ni tha yaar.mast husta masty krta hua ladka tha.kya se kya bna diya..Agr relation khtum hi krna tha to strt hi kyu kiya...y u made my life hell yaar

All of my friends is saying to me "ki Tune ek baar sex agar ker liya hota to tujhe kbhi ni chorti."But i thought about this thing dat is SEX is dat much important in a relationship??Bcoz according to me in a relationship only trust and love are to basic ingridients which are important.Is loving you unconditionally,the way i use to care fr u are really my fault.Is it my fault that I never saw u as a sex material.The only thing which I use to think about my relationship is to put my self in a very well position so dat i can come to ur house fr a marrage proposal,love you so much and never ever make you cry.Really yaar its hard to belive dat you left me just bcoz I never got physical to you.And if sex is important thn wats so hurry fr dat.We have the whole life to enjoy that.If we r in a relationship thn according to me we should think about our carrier..so dat we can put ourself in a respective position in life by dat we can live happily ever after..isn't it???

After hearing all ur past and present news i always think that how can anyone like you, can have a two face nature.when an unknown person talk to you.You behave so nicely dat dat guy use to think abt u dat "HOW INOCENT SHE IS,HOW ANYONE CAN DO  BAD WITH HER."But really dear now i knw they really don't know abt ur second dark sided face,jaise mene nhi janna tha.Sumtymes i really feel bad fr my self dat hw can I love a grl like u so much who don't even hv a heart to feel my love.I really feel disgusted wen i think dat my love fr u is so deep in my heart dat its really very hard to move on from u.From the past 2 an a half year every fucking day i wake up nd i say to myself ki aajj yaad ni krna hai tujhe..nd i fail every day.

But ya on the counter side i love to go to my flashback nd love to think about u,love to think about ur sweet inocent face ur smile,although those days are totally fake but still it means a lot to me.I don't have word to xpress my happy feeling wenever i think about our relationship.I know m a stupid guy who is still waiting fr his x but u knw wat now after hearing all of this about you and geting so much proffs against you, from inside m fighting with my own to xcpt this shit dat u r not cuming back to me bcoz now u become a totally different person..Itz really hard fr me to kill the last hope which was thr inside me but ya i have to........