Date 20/10/2013
Lyf kesa kesa turning point dikhata hai.Bhut dino baadh blog likh ra hu,qki jab bhi bht kuch bolna hota hai tbhi likhta hu me.Mene humesha chaha ki tu meri life me wapus aa jaye but esa bilkol ni chahta tha ki tera entry esa ho life me jesai ki tu mere bina mur jayegi or relation me rehne k tym tera behaivr esa ho jaye jaise u dnt give a shit to me.maanta hu jab tere sath relation me ni tha to bht miss krta tha tujhe,thora upset bhi tha but depressed ni tha me.Tu life me aye dubara 3 august 2013 me.lyf me aane se pehle hi mene tujhe poocha tha ki is baar koi prob to ni hoga na,is baar to hum alag ni honge na.Tab tune hi kaha tha ki ni rahul is baar hum alag ni honge,chahe jo v ho jaye aapki shadi mere sath hi hogi.or ab relation me aa jaane ke badh tu esai din dikha ri hai ki main kya bolu.Ye ni bol skta ki xpectation ni tha ki tu fir esai bure din dikhayegi.Me janta tha if i am entring into a commited relationship thn mujhe rona hoga.san jante hue bhi ki tune kya kiya q kiya kese kiya me tere sath commited hua.sare dosto ne samjhaya.Eshan ki baat to abhi bhi yaad hai ki rahul jaane wala chez kbhi tere pass ni reh skta,usai jaana hi hoga..Anamitra ne bola tha ki me dubara ronga.Us tym fir tere pyar me itna pagal ho gya ki sabki baatein be mayena or be matlab lagne lagi.Sabhi ko mene confidese dilaya ki kuch ni hoga.She is a changed grl now.but deep inside shayud mujhe pta tha ki me sabko or apne aapko jhoota tassali de ra tha.
Durga Puja tak sab kuch thik tha but durga puja khtm hone ke badh se sab kuch badal ra hai.Itna maturity to hai or itni lyf to dekhi hai ki mujhe samajh aye ki relationship agr sidha na chle to wo q or kiss wajah se ni chal ra hai.qki main abhi tk kabhi galat ni hua apne predictions me.2 din pehle esi baat tune kahi jisko xpct ni kia tha mene.Achank se tu kehti hai ki do din pehle mujhe nepal le jaane ki baat hue humesha k lia.Janta to tha me ki hum is baar bhi ek ni ho payenge but fir bhi najane q pair ke niche se zameen khisak gyi.Kuch time ke liye to mujhe samajh ni aya ki me kya react kru.qki itni badi baat wo itne assani se bta ri thi jaise ye koi badi baat hi na ho.mene usai kaha ki mna kr de to usne kaha me papa ko or dukh ni de skti,Main ni de sakti kissi ko itna dukh.Fir mene socha ki tere papa ke dukh agr count kiye jaye to tune pichle 5 saalo me kitna hi dukh mujhe diya jisai ab me normal samajh ke chor hi deta hu.agr tu kissi ko itna dukh ni de skti to tere samne kitna gir gira k ro chuka hu lekin teri awaz me jo rudeness tha mere liye wo kum kitno hi baar ni hua mere rone ko dekh kr bhi.kitne baar to tune esa kaha hai ki rote raho fone rakh do..jab rona ho jaye tb fone krna.esai bolti hai jesai me uska pyar ni ek rah ka chlta normal aadmi hu jo ki uske saamne ro ni raha balki khana kha ra hai or wo us rah chlte aadmi ko bol ri ho ki kha lo khana khtm ho jaye to bula lena.Agar tu kissi ko itna dukh ni de sakti to main kya stone ka bna hu jisai kuch mehsoos ni hota.
Tune mujhe us rat suggest kia ki Court me shadi kr lete hai or us raat hi ni tune bht baar esa kaha hai ki chalo rahul shadi kr lete hai.but mene humesha mana kr diya but us raat mene shadi ke liye v razi ho gya.apne frnd se consult kia to usne btaya ki-"arragements ho jayega but tu dekhna jaise hi tu usai shadi ke liye kahega wo mana kr degi" or tune mana kia.Mere us frnd ne kaha ki-"esa ni hai ki (let my gf name be jaya)jaya tujhe lyk ni krti karti hai but dat is the prob.wo bus lyk karti hai.wo relation me to aa gyi tere sath but wo ab pachta rahi hai apne is faisle pr ki relation me ana sahi tha.teri (means me) hurkato ko dekhkr usai kabhi kabhi pyar ata hai tere upr but tu jab dukh me rota hai to wo irritate feel krti hai.dhire dhire usko tere andr khamiya nazar ayegi,wo chiri chiri si rahegi."Jaya according to him tu kahi na kahi khudh serious ni hai mujhe lekr.end me kuch v bahana maar ke tu chali hi jayegi nepal.
Teri awaz me jaya ab meere liye wo pyar ni raha,wo mithas ni rahi.ab mujhe tujhse kuch ppoochne me dur lgne lga hai ki kahi kissi question ka koi esa reply na de jisai mera dil toot jaye.teri awaz me ab mujhe lgta hai ki tu ek boyfrnd se ni balki ek normal frnd se baat kr rahi hai.main love u bolta tha to tu love u bolti thi.but ab me luv u bolta reh jata hu or tujhe bolke samjhana pdta hai ki me bhi ye umeed rkhta hu ki tu v mujhe love u 2 bole.tere love u bolne ke tarike se lgta hai jaise tu kuch or bol ri hai.love u ka actual matlab hi badla badla sa lgta hai.Ab mujhe wo pyar marta dikh ra hai.wo soch marti dikh rahi hai jo ki humne socha tha sath me rehne ka,shadi kerne ka.mujhe is baar bhi pta hai ki hum alag honge.chahe tu mera kitna v mazak uda k bol ki astrology ka dukaan khol lo.dis nd dat lekin me is baat pe confidnt hu ki hum alag honge.bus intezar hai to teri us ek step ka jo tu mujhe chorne k liye leti hai
Bhut hi zada miss kr ra hu apne frnds ko.qki pichle baar nashe or frnds ne sambhal liya tha.bt ab to koi bhi ni hai.na nasha hai nahi koi frnd hai.main kya soch ra hu kya kr ra hu mujhe kuch samajh ni aa ra.bus yahi pray krta hu ki depression or frustration me kuch kr na loo jo mujhe ni krna chahiye.....
Lyf kesa kesa turning point dikhata hai.Bhut dino baadh blog likh ra hu,qki jab bhi bht kuch bolna hota hai tbhi likhta hu me.Mene humesha chaha ki tu meri life me wapus aa jaye but esa bilkol ni chahta tha ki tera entry esa ho life me jesai ki tu mere bina mur jayegi or relation me rehne k tym tera behaivr esa ho jaye jaise u dnt give a shit to me.maanta hu jab tere sath relation me ni tha to bht miss krta tha tujhe,thora upset bhi tha but depressed ni tha me.Tu life me aye dubara 3 august 2013 me.lyf me aane se pehle hi mene tujhe poocha tha ki is baar koi prob to ni hoga na,is baar to hum alag ni honge na.Tab tune hi kaha tha ki ni rahul is baar hum alag ni honge,chahe jo v ho jaye aapki shadi mere sath hi hogi.or ab relation me aa jaane ke badh tu esai din dikha ri hai ki main kya bolu.Ye ni bol skta ki xpectation ni tha ki tu fir esai bure din dikhayegi.Me janta tha if i am entring into a commited relationship thn mujhe rona hoga.san jante hue bhi ki tune kya kiya q kiya kese kiya me tere sath commited hua.sare dosto ne samjhaya.Eshan ki baat to abhi bhi yaad hai ki rahul jaane wala chez kbhi tere pass ni reh skta,usai jaana hi hoga..Anamitra ne bola tha ki me dubara ronga.Us tym fir tere pyar me itna pagal ho gya ki sabki baatein be mayena or be matlab lagne lagi.Sabhi ko mene confidese dilaya ki kuch ni hoga.She is a changed grl now.but deep inside shayud mujhe pta tha ki me sabko or apne aapko jhoota tassali de ra tha.
Durga Puja tak sab kuch thik tha but durga puja khtm hone ke badh se sab kuch badal ra hai.Itna maturity to hai or itni lyf to dekhi hai ki mujhe samajh aye ki relationship agr sidha na chle to wo q or kiss wajah se ni chal ra hai.qki main abhi tk kabhi galat ni hua apne predictions me.2 din pehle esi baat tune kahi jisko xpct ni kia tha mene.Achank se tu kehti hai ki do din pehle mujhe nepal le jaane ki baat hue humesha k lia.Janta to tha me ki hum is baar bhi ek ni ho payenge but fir bhi najane q pair ke niche se zameen khisak gyi.Kuch time ke liye to mujhe samajh ni aya ki me kya react kru.qki itni badi baat wo itne assani se bta ri thi jaise ye koi badi baat hi na ho.mene usai kaha ki mna kr de to usne kaha me papa ko or dukh ni de skti,Main ni de sakti kissi ko itna dukh.Fir mene socha ki tere papa ke dukh agr count kiye jaye to tune pichle 5 saalo me kitna hi dukh mujhe diya jisai ab me normal samajh ke chor hi deta hu.agr tu kissi ko itna dukh ni de skti to tere samne kitna gir gira k ro chuka hu lekin teri awaz me jo rudeness tha mere liye wo kum kitno hi baar ni hua mere rone ko dekh kr bhi.kitne baar to tune esa kaha hai ki rote raho fone rakh do..jab rona ho jaye tb fone krna.esai bolti hai jesai me uska pyar ni ek rah ka chlta normal aadmi hu jo ki uske saamne ro ni raha balki khana kha ra hai or wo us rah chlte aadmi ko bol ri ho ki kha lo khana khtm ho jaye to bula lena.Agar tu kissi ko itna dukh ni de sakti to main kya stone ka bna hu jisai kuch mehsoos ni hota.
Tune mujhe us rat suggest kia ki Court me shadi kr lete hai or us raat hi ni tune bht baar esa kaha hai ki chalo rahul shadi kr lete hai.but mene humesha mana kr diya but us raat mene shadi ke liye v razi ho gya.apne frnd se consult kia to usne btaya ki-"arragements ho jayega but tu dekhna jaise hi tu usai shadi ke liye kahega wo mana kr degi" or tune mana kia.Mere us frnd ne kaha ki-"esa ni hai ki (let my gf name be jaya)jaya tujhe lyk ni krti karti hai but dat is the prob.wo bus lyk karti hai.wo relation me to aa gyi tere sath but wo ab pachta rahi hai apne is faisle pr ki relation me ana sahi tha.teri (means me) hurkato ko dekhkr usai kabhi kabhi pyar ata hai tere upr but tu jab dukh me rota hai to wo irritate feel krti hai.dhire dhire usko tere andr khamiya nazar ayegi,wo chiri chiri si rahegi."Jaya according to him tu kahi na kahi khudh serious ni hai mujhe lekr.end me kuch v bahana maar ke tu chali hi jayegi nepal.
Teri awaz me jaya ab meere liye wo pyar ni raha,wo mithas ni rahi.ab mujhe tujhse kuch ppoochne me dur lgne lga hai ki kahi kissi question ka koi esa reply na de jisai mera dil toot jaye.teri awaz me ab mujhe lgta hai ki tu ek boyfrnd se ni balki ek normal frnd se baat kr rahi hai.main love u bolta tha to tu love u bolti thi.but ab me luv u bolta reh jata hu or tujhe bolke samjhana pdta hai ki me bhi ye umeed rkhta hu ki tu v mujhe love u 2 bole.tere love u bolne ke tarike se lgta hai jaise tu kuch or bol ri hai.love u ka actual matlab hi badla badla sa lgta hai.Ab mujhe wo pyar marta dikh ra hai.wo soch marti dikh rahi hai jo ki humne socha tha sath me rehne ka,shadi kerne ka.mujhe is baar bhi pta hai ki hum alag honge.chahe tu mera kitna v mazak uda k bol ki astrology ka dukaan khol lo.dis nd dat lekin me is baat pe confidnt hu ki hum alag honge.bus intezar hai to teri us ek step ka jo tu mujhe chorne k liye leti hai
Bhut hi zada miss kr ra hu apne frnds ko.qki pichle baar nashe or frnds ne sambhal liya tha.bt ab to koi bhi ni hai.na nasha hai nahi koi frnd hai.main kya soch ra hu kya kr ra hu mujhe kuch samajh ni aa ra.bus yahi pray krta hu ki depression or frustration me kuch kr na loo jo mujhe ni krna chahiye.....
